A Sunday in work

I work every forth Sunday and this is my weekend on. I don't mind these days but for a Sunday it is usually damn busy. There is no-one else in the office so all the work that you usually get help with you have to do on your own. Still it goes quickly as you are so busy.

More heavy rain last night. I was awake at about 3.00 and the rain was hamering down. You would think by now there was nothing left up there. We will never have floods where we live as we are to high above sea level. If we ever get that bad Noah and his ark will float past!

And a little bit of humor to brighten up the day....

A Blonde's Revenge

A Blonde Writes Back For all of you (especially men) who like to send blonde jokes, it's time for paybacks... How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.

What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds mature. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. When do you care for a man's company? When he owns it. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that. What did God say after creating Eve? Practice makes perfect. How are men and parking spots alike? Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely short. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you.

Another day in work and still raining

Well I might as well moan about the weather because no-one reads this crap anyway. Off to work today,(Saturday) and hopefully this should be a quiet day. I say that every bloody Saturday and it never is! And it is my weekend in work so I am working Sunday as well. Just once I would like a quiet weekend and we can only hope.......

The bloody rain never seems to end does it? I know it is December but hey! it could stop for a day or two. Well we are away next weekend and I just hope that we get a dry few days.

Just to lighten up this crap I have put in a photo of my nieces boys taken and photoshoped by a friend of hers.

And I have put in something to laugh at below as well

A blonde walks into a doctor's office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over." The doctor is really confused. He says, "What do you mean, you hurt all over?" The blonde says, "I'll show you."

She then touches herself on her leg. "OW!!! I hurt there." Then she touches her earlobe. "OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!" Then she touches her hair. "OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min. Then he says, "Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?" The blonde says "Yes, why?"

The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken finger..."

Oh its early!

What does the 0 stand for in 02.30? Oh my God its early! And that is the time that I got today to go to work. This time has been fairly regular for me for over 30 years now and although you get used to it, the alarm still hurts when it goes off.

My brother came around yesterday to ask me to scan in an old wedding photo of theirs from 25 years ago. With a minor bit of fiddling using Picasa it was a new photo. It worked that well that I am going to put in a load of my old suff that has been in boxes for years soon. I have put the photo here to show how well it came out.

Day off

Well it is my day off today and of course I could not sleep so got up at 06.00 to check emails etc. Oh the modern life with a computer! Just a few years ago I could not imagine using one and now I cannot imagine not having one.

I have just had an email from a relative in the USA that I have not written to in years. We both lost the email addresses so it was nice to get that message. Hi to Diane of she reads this.

Just to make the day off interesting we have a funeral to go to this afternoon. An old friend of the family has passed away and we are saying the final goodbyes. He was ill for a long time and I think it was a relief when he finally went. I would hate to linger like that. My own father went very suddenly and when my end comes that is the way to go. Not yet though!

Well after that rather depressing letter a little joke to lighten it up below,

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

Another day in work

I work for a local bus company as a supervisor and I am up at 05.00 for another days work. For those of you that think perhaps that this is early to get up then you obviously have never worked on public transport.

Think of the trains that run early in the morning and the bus you might want to catch to work. Who do you think drives them and what time do they start? Our companies first bus leaves at 04.30 so the driver has to be in by 04.09 to get it out. He or she has to have a supervisor there to sign him on and they start before he does.

The last bus gets in at past midnight and there will be a supervisor on until after it gets in. So if you ever read this think perhaps that buses and trains do not run themselves and the staff work all sorts 0f weird hours.

And to make it a little less serious....

One day a girl decided to buy some crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend. She went and bought them, got home, put them on and waited. When the boyfriend got home there she was spread eagle on the bed with only her panties and bra on. "Come over here baby." she says smiling. The boyfriend backs off, "If your pussy can do that to your panties - I ain't going any where near it!"

Bloody computers!

I have not been able to connect through my wireless capability for about two weeks now and had to phone the help line in the end to sort it out. It turned out that the most obvious button was turned off. All I had to do was press one BIG button at the top of the keyboard and I was on! What a complete dickhead I felt!

However all is well now and it is working fine. And just for a laugh check out

Stupid labels Some manufactures must think you are daft!

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Cold weather

Well the rain has stopped for a bit and just for a change it is bloody freezing out there. I am off to work in a little bit and will have to wrap up warm. I must be getting old! Does anyone read this drivel? I would love to know.

And just for a laugh, some reasons why you should have a camera phone

And as for the prices in 1955!

And to finish this some punny restaurant names!